My Broken Heart

My broken heart keeps me awake at night , keeps tears in my eyes.
I question why?
Why you??
Why me??
I try so hard to make sense of this all. We're you my destiny? Was I yours?
I believe everyone comes into our life for a reason, to love and be loved, to teach and to learn.
You showed me how wonderful love could be again, you opened my heart to love again and I loved you without boundaries.
You shared your love for the outdoors and opened up a whole new world to me and you so easily shared your love along with your love for children with me. In turn I shared my love for laughing , my love for caring for a family ,my love for you.


How lucky I was that you found me , how blessed I was to have had this past year with you.
With time my broken heart will heal again.... the pain will get easier , the tears will be controllable .
You will always be with me,  you will always have a piece of my heart , a place in my heart.

My Lost Love

What do I say, where do I start... life changes lead me to Maine which to my surprise lead me to this wonderful man.

From the moment we meet we started spending all our time together . I knew how special he was from the first kiss. His love for his family, his willingness to be open with me, I see him as the kind of man we ladies all hope to find and have in our life.

He is so very handsome, so very loving, not afraid to be affectionate , he shares feelings and emotions. He holds my hand in public, looks at me with such love and wanting. Always willing to rub my back, rub my feet and loves when I do the same for him...he tells me how beautiful I am, how much he loves me, how happy he his that he found me.
He is also a man who works a hard blue collar job, he loves the outdoors from hunting and fishing to camping, hiking and kayaking. Loves to work with his hands, from wood work to house work and he can fix anything from a car to a roof.

We spend time browsing through everything from antiques shops, cooking shops, sporting and outdoor stores, yard sales to thrift stores.
He takes me on rides down long winding roads.. he shows me so much of Maine, places and things from waterfalls to fireworks from moose to fox.
We spend time in the kitchen cooking and baking and time cuddling on the couch just watching TV. We spend time as a family with his children making his favorite homemade waffles for breakfast to dinners and afternoons with us all kayaking around a lake .We laugh and joke and even disagree at times.
Over a year of this loving man in my life, talking about our future, what we want to do and where we want to be years from now. I could never have imagined my life could be this way, happy and perfect in so many ways.

One morning I woke up and like a bad dream... he's gone, he walked out the front door... he didn't leave me .... he left everything. He left his children, his family , his job, his home, his everything and we don't know why.
All he did leave are so very many questions.

So I sit here , wait and wonder , so confused, so hurt , so very heart broken.


My love, I miss you and want you home safe where you belong   XXXXXOOOOO

A Reflection/Reminder

There are times I'm sure that we all have wondered what am I here to do? Why does this happen to me? And I'm sure there are many more questions we all have about our life and life in general.
I think I have and that I am still having a wonderful life and I have a wonderful family. My mother was so outgoing, funny and a very sparkly person, if you were lucky enough to know her you know exactly what I mean, sorry to say she died from cancer in 2004.... way to young and soon as far as I'm concerned. But I am lucky/blessed to still have so many other wonderful family members that I am grateful for.
I have also had wonderful love in my life, my husband was the life of the party and truly everyones friend, we enjoyed every minute of our 11 years together but he also passed away in 2010 from cancer. This was an extremely hard loss in my life but 3 years later I have been lucky/blessed to have meet another amazing man .
I have been lucky/blessed that cancer has not effected me physically but it has been something I have not only lost family to but also friends.  As you watch, wait and help out those you love fight this you sometimes forget about all the others, all the other people fighting the same fight.
I accompanied a friend to a radiation treatment recently and as we sat and chatted waiting to be called in for their appointment I kept looking around at the other faces.
A sea of men and women... many gray haired... many no haired.
Next to us sat a mom with her daughter who was maybe 10 years old. The mom with no left breast and that peach fuzz hair sat there waiting for her named to be called, just laughing and talking with her daughter. A man and his wife sat across...he had great hair, he was tan... looking very fit..and when they called a name it was his... looking to be the picture of health it was his treatment they were there for.
There were several older/maybe retired couples.. a few women dressed for work with lovely scarves tied around their heads.
We were called back for the appointment ... a smaller waiting room with area where you change into a gown before going in for the treatment. Many sat with little brown paper bags... which I came to find out was holding a hospital gown. The patients were asked to keep their gowns and reuse them if they were having a treatment over several days rather than using a new one each day they came in, I guess the hospitals version of being green.
Waiting to be called sat a young man , maybe late 20's full of tattoos on his arms. Just one more among an assortment of faces,ages, male/female, some familiar from the outside waiting room some not .
We all know there are no boundaries with cancer but sometimes we forget. We forget about all the others that are fighting the same fight as our loved ones.
Im not quite sure what my point is on all of this...all I know is that it touched me, effected me and I wanted to share.
Our lives sometimes are so busy, our focus is all about work, money, things. This is just a reminder to love and treasure your family and friends. Don't be afraid to make changes in your life, take a chance, let those you love know it . We all want things and to live a happy comfortable life but I have learned that things are just that, just things, they are replaceable but the lives of those lost to the fight cannot be replaced.
I know my experiences have had alot to do with my search for a simpler life, less rushed, less things, less complications.

I have found my simpler life and couldn't be happier.........  
Take a moment to reflect on your life, I hope you find yourself where you want to be.

Vacation Camping

Camping  

Who would have ever guessed that would be a vacation for me?

About 2 hours north of home we wound up at MooseHead Lake,once we got to the camp ground we started to unload the cars and set up camp. We were close to having everything set up and unpacked when another couple showed up at our site and we found out we had set up camp in the wrong site (OPPSSS). OK , so we had to move, it wasn't too bad, we only had to go to the next site over. The next morning we made a crazy decision... move camp again. The 3rd spot was perfect, a bit larger, right on the water and once again only one site over. Once we broke the news to the kids we moved again... for the last time this trip ... haha

Camp

WILDLIFE 

 The week offered so many sitings all the way from a sweet little spotted fawn and a deer as we were driving back from town. We had a duck and her 5 babies swimming in front of our camp. One night I laughed so hard when out of the dark with the glow of the setting sun up from the lake 2 ducks walked into our camp looking for dinner. And the excitement of it all.... MOOSE, we saw 6 over the week, 2 in bogs and 2 sets of mother and baby. 

Her baby ran in the woods

Moose in the bog on the way back from town

a different kind of Moose 

The ducks that kept visiting our camp

Deer close to camp

SCENERY

There was so much to see, landscape, sunsets, signs .... so much beauty and some funny

Amazing

Love this sign

sunset on the MooseHead Lake

wild Strawberry patch

The Golden Road

Sunset at camp

Need I say more?

Yes, thats a phone booth with a pay phone still in it 

AROUND CAMP

As much as we kept busy we also had many peaceful times, we spent time kayaking, fishing, and of course time around the campfire.

lakefront at camp

Camp

Brown Trout

Hot Dogs over the campfire

 Peaceful

EEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Wild Strawberries

It was a wonderful time , the warmth of the day the crisp cool evening air .... the sound of the Loons at night. 

           

             I'm already looking forward to the next trip.

My 'First's' this weekend

Life should be full of "Firsts" if you're willing , and it doesn't have to be anything crazy.
The past few days have been above average hot in Maine this time of year ( so I'm told ), It has been in the mid 90s for the past 3 days.

We spent Saturday morning driving around and checking out a few yard sales. I found a cute little pyrex creamer and only spent 50 cents. We didn't find much more but the air was on in the car so it was nice just to ride around. 

After some work around the house in the afternooon we started to talk about what should  we do for dinner. Our first thought was Ice Cream and I was all in on that idea. But after looking through the local free paper that comes to the house every week we decide to go to a Church Supper or as they say here in Maine "Suppha". 

Church Dinners are early , this one is open from 5 to 6:30 and we got there about 5:30. We walked in, paid our $14.00 for the both of us and we were informed that we had good timing , we missed the rush that was there right when the doors opened at 5 . We went right up to the table where the food was laid out and we were handed our plates.

Dinner was stuffed chicken, potatoes, squash, and a few different salads. The chicken was amazing... I had some of the spinach salad which had fresh strawberries in it along with dried cranberries and pecans.... YUM
We had our choice of ice tea, lemonade , water or coffee to drink. There were many desserts to choose from , blueberry, apple... a few cream pies.We chatted with the ladies sitting across from us and we throughly enjoyed a wonderful meal.

As we were walking out the gentleman who was collecting the cash at the door asked how we enjoyed dinner. We let him know that everything was great ... he handed us a flyer which noted all the suppers planned for the rest of the summer and said he hoped to see us back again.

I'm looking forward to the next one in two weeks "A taste of Italy"and in August a true "Bean Suppha" 

It was a lovely evening and after a little car ride we wound up at an ice cream stand in town...with our cones in hand we went down by the lake and sat enjoying the view and the cones. 

Sunday brought the heat again and today's adventure, 'First' was an afternoon out on the lake in a kayak. We got everything loaded into the car and went down to one of the lakes by the house... about 10 minuets away. 

After being reassured that I wont tip I got in and pushed off into the lake. It was so peaceful... to be on the lake and just glide along in the water. 
I can't wait to go again.










It was another wonderful weekend in Maine ,and just so you know the weekdays are pretty darn good here too.

A visit to Maine

A Year ago I was visiting with my friend in Maine and going on an on  about how I would love to live here and have a new start since the passing of my husband.
Fast Forward :
Last week my sister in-law was my first guest in Maine. We had a wonderful visit and it was so fun to be the one showing someone around the place that I love and  that I now call home.
We did so many of the things I did over all the years of visiting Maine.

Me and Janet at Camden State Park

Two Lights

We went to Light Houses

Portland Head Light

Lobster Roll at the Lobster Shack

 

1700 lb chocolate moose at Len Libby

Maple soft serve

We ate ice cream, lots of chocolate and lobster * not all at once LOL

Making off with the goods from the
Maine State Prison Store

There was a trip to the Old Port, North Conway, Freeport and even the Main State Prison Store

And an off the beaten path treat, at trip to Morse's Kraut House in Waldoboro for some great German food

Kraut Balls at Mores's Kraut House

It was a terrific visit filled with lots of laughs and soo much food..... my gosh, I think I'm still full .  

As I drove away from the airport I thought back to all the times I was the one being picked up and dropped off,and how things have changed. 

A year ago I was a visitor and now, I'm a resident.

I guess it just goes to show you never know where life my lead you if you're willing to take the chance.

My Neighbor , My Friend

 If you find yourself on a nice relaxing vacation in Maine this summer please make your way of to the  town of Cornish, a lovely town located in the foothills of the White Mountains. http://www.cornish-maine.org

Evie's  16 Maple St. , Cornish Maine

My neighbor: 
Evie's Eclectic Collections is a great old house tuned into a wonderful antique shop with rooms full of beautiful items.

I had stopped in and looked through the shop several time over my few years visiting Maine. And how funny it is that I found myself living next door to the shop when I moved here last summer.

Evie Webster shared this home with her husband Benjamin back in 1922 and continued to live there as a widow until her passing in 2007.

Evie

*A few have been heard  over heard to comment that the spirt of Evie is felt when passing through rooms in the house.





My Friend:
I meet Cindy (the shop owner) and I would stop over during the day to chat from time to time.
 I started baking and would bring over treats to share...we became fast friends.

chocolate zucchini bread

corm meal lemon zucchini cookies

The shop is a wonderful walk back in time, each room is arranged as the room it would be and filled with wonderful treasures , antiques, along with a mix of vintage and modern items.

Evie's original cookstove  

vintage bathroom

original "P" stained glass front door

so many treasures to look at

loving all the blue and white

And if you're a collector of Pyrex there is a wonderful selection of items to help complete you set.

RAFFLE DRAWING

Evie's will open for the season beginning Friday May 31st and in celebration of her 5 year Anniversary they are having a drawing for an antique Spinning Wheel along with a wooden American Flag.

Stop in, take a stroll around , fill out a slip for the Anniversary drawing *no purchase necessary
Say "Hello" to Cindy the shop owner and ya never know... I might be there too looking to add to my Pyrex collection.